As you might have guessed, the Swedish parenting style revolves a lot around the outdoors, but there is more to it!
Recently I came across a story in Time Magazine called How to Parent Like a German and found it intriguing, partly because I was born and raised in another European country – Sweden – myself. After I started raising my own two daughters in the U.S. I noticed that my own deeply held cultural beliefs about parenting and childhood were not necessarily the norm here. In fact, I discovered that it’s almost impossible to even talk about a specific American parenting style, since this country is incredible diverse and parents seem to gravitate toward whatever “tribe” shares their own core beliefs.
Honestly, I was confused at first.
American parenting styles seemed to run the gamut from authoritarian obedience to not even using the word ‘no’. There were helicopter moms and free range parents and everything in between. I learned completely new concepts, like gender reveal party, baby wearing and kindergarten readiness.
All Swedish parents certainly don’t raise their kids the same way. But these are some habits that may surprise you about raising children in Sweden:
#1 Babies nap outside
Yes, even in the winter. So please don’t call Child Protective Services on your Swedish neighbor whose baby is sleeping soundly on the back porch in freezing temperatures – she is just doing something that generations of Scandinavian mothers have done before her, and the baby is likely well bundled up. In the Scandinavian countries fresh air is considered key to good health and napping outside is both common at home and standard practice at preschools. The upshot of this practice? Babies take longer naps when they sleep outside in the cold, according to one Finnish study.
#2 Kids play outside every day, regardless of the weather
With its dark, freezing winters and cool, often rainy, summers Scandinavia definitely picked a losing ticket in the global climate lottery. But parents in Sweden happily tell their kids, “There is no bad weather, only bad clothes” and send them outside to play anyway (see Five Reasons Why I let My Kids Play Outside in (Almost) Any Weather). Some nurseries, so called “Rain or Shine” preschools, or forest schools, even specialize in playing outdoors most of the day all year round. In elementary school indoor recess doesn’t exist, and since recess makes up approximately 20 percent of the school day in Sweden, older kids have plenty of time to play outside during the day as well.
#3 Young kids don’t have a lot of organized activities
Swedes are very protective of both their own and their kids’ free time, and in general don’t rush to get them signed up for sports and other extra-curricular activities. Whereas American moms will sometimes tell me that they spent their summer chauffeuring their children to toddler reading programs, science camps, competitive soccer, viola lessons and twice weekly swim meets, Swedes are more likely to pack up their camper van and head for the coast. Many kids will eventually pick one sport that they like to play after school, but often they have to be at least 6 years old to play on a team.
#4 Preschools don’t stress early academics
Swedish parents believe unstructured play is an essential part of childhood (see #2 and #3) and mandatory schooling doesn’t start until the year a child turns 7. Over 80 percent of Swedish children aged 1-5 attend a government-subsidized preschool which also functions as a daycare. But unlike preschools in many other countries there are no flash cards, wall words or handwriting exercises. Instead, preschools usually focus on play, cooperation, tolerance and gender equality.
#5 Parents don’t use corporal punishment
Sweden was the first country to ban spanking and all other forms of corporal punishment in 1979, and its neighbors Finland and Norway soon followed suit. Although spanking was once a common way to discipline your child, more and more parents voluntarily moved away from it in the 1960’s, as “the continuous growth of a democratic, egalitarian ideal meant that more and more Swedes felt that all people – children too – should enjoy equal protection from violence,” according to this article on the official site of Sweden. Today the practice is severely frowned upon.
What foreign parenting practices have surprised you? Let’s chat in the comments!
This is a great article. I love hearing about how different families and cultures raise their families. After reading this, I feel like I belong in Sweeden. My baby never napped outside, but I resonate deeply with the other Sweedish parenting habits. Sometimes I feel like a salmon swimming against the current when compared to many of my American friends.
Thank you, Nell:o) There is a lot to like about Swedish parenting, and a few not so good things too, but I’ll save them for another time, lol..
My grandmother is Norwegian so much of this is very familiar to me and is the way I am raising my boys (ages 3 and 4.) I have not met many families who live this way and it can be very isolating at times. However, we are finding a few here and there and it is nice to have a “tribe” of like-minded folks for mutual support.
Yes, I think the parenting culture in Norway is very similar to the Swedish one. It’s definitely not the norm here, but I’ve found a lot of like-minded parents from around the world through my networking online. It has helped tremendously, although I wish I could meet more of them in person!
By these standards I am a Swedish parent. I was chastised a few times for having Finny nap outside but I used the excuse that the entire country of Sweden does it – and I dressed her for the weather.
Good for you, Doug! My daughters have napped outside since they were about a week or two old, and they were both born in the Midwest in February. They always took longer and deeper naps outside, which tells me they were really comfortable.
Well, now I wish I lived in Sweden! All of this resonates so much with me. I’m raising my daughter in Australia where parenting doesn’t seem to be quite as “intense” as it is in the US, but there’s still a lot of pressure to sign your kids up for a million activities.
There are definitely a lot of good things about raising children in Sweden, Fiona. I’m a bit surprised to hear that Australian kids are so booked up – I thought things were a lot more laid back there. I’m sure some of that has just changed in the past generation or so too.
A lot has changed in a single generation in Australia. I moved here as a child, aged 10, and had a very laid back childhood. I then left as a young adult and lived in Canada for 11 years. I moved back here 2 years ago with my daughter and have really noticed the difference. Everything is just so much more intense and competitive and activities are directed at younger and younger children.
It has never even crossed my mind for my girls to nap outside! Love learning about global parenting practices. Thanks for sharing!
It’s definitely different:o) I agree, I love reading about raising children in other cultures as well!
So glad I’ve found this blog! My son is near five now but when he was a baby I would often put him in his baby swing on his porch any set it rocking and it was usually a no fail way to get him to fall asleep. It just instinctively seemed like such a wonderful way to put babies to sleep. I just wished I would have done it more! And so nice to see I’m not the only one!
I’m glad you found me too! My kids are pretty well past the napping phase but I always loved it when they were younger and they would fall asleep to the sounds of birds chirping and the wind blowing in the trees.
I am South African and we have only been in the US for two years. It has surprised me so much that very little children are booked up with activities and experience so much academical pressure. I am originally from a small farming community, but many of my friends’ children still spend most of their afternoons outside and have minimal extracurricular activities until they are well into primary school. It has also been interesting to me that children don’t have much time to play “unsupervised”. Even play often seems very organized.
Right, it gets crazy with all the activities and then the kids have no time for free play. I really believe they need to have that in order to develop social skills, not to mention all the health benefits of outdoor play.
Hi Linda
I’m a Swedish mother living in the outskirts of London, UK and OMG the difference in child rearing is incredible different here from Sweden. I’ve always listens to my child and discussed matters what I liked and didn’t like with her and mutual respect exist between us. UK it is a very authorathive society where adults have no room for discussion. The mentality is ” my way or the highway ” mandatory school starts at 4 and it is very formal, parents dont even know the first name of their childs teacher, always adressed them as miss or mrs. when my child started last year it was very confusing for her ( traumatic aswell as she was dragged out of my arms in to the class room, was actually thinking of moving home at that point) now she is fine and adapted to be one way in school and another way at home but omg what a learning curb for both of us. To be honest I prefer Swedish way.
Louise
That’s interesting; I didn’t know the attitude toward children was that authoratative in the UK. Then again, I think the Nordic countries are probably pretty unique in that most parents raise their children in a more democratic and child-centered way. Thanks for sharing your perspective!
It’s a little les strict in Scotland – school starts a year later than in England. Nursery here is really good (age 3 to 4) – no traditional learning as such, it’s all done through play. I’m very impressed by it (my son is in his second year of nursery – not starting school until he’s 5 next summer).
I also had him napping in his prom outside when he was a baby – we’ve even got pictures of him out there fast asleep for hours in a blizzard with the prom cover on! He definitely slept much better outside. This is not at all common here though, as far as I know.
Extracurricular activities are certainly very common now (much more so than my free-range childhood in the 80s)! I try to keep it to a minimum for my son – just swimming (because everyone should learn to swim) plus maybe one other thing he’s interested in like gymnastics – but it’s entirely his choice.
Thanks for sharing; it’s always interesting to hear about parenting and schooling traditions in other countries. I think forest schools are catching on in the UK as well. And I’m so glad to hear that you’ve tried some outdoor napping! My kids are too old to sleep during the day now, but boy were those outdoor naps good while they lasted!
Hi, I just found your blog and am so glad I did! I live in the Northeast US and we get really cold winters. It is so important to me to spend time outdoors, and I used to walk every day regardless of the weather. I had a baby this year, and we spent the whole winter indoors because I was afraid to take her out into the cold (for her own safety and out of fear of CPS). She’s 11 months old now. Is it too late to try letting her sleep outdoors? She naps so poorly most of the time. Do you have any tips for transitioning to spending more time outdoors walking and playing since her body is not used to temperature fluctuations? I’m going to be reading through all your posts!
Hi Joni! So glad you found my blog! I’ve had several moms ask me when it’s safe to take a baby outside, so you’re not alone in thinking that it’s too cold. Doctors in Scandinavia generally deem it safe for babies to nap outside in down to -10C/14F, but in Scandinavia some parents will put their babies out to nap in even colder temperatures. The easiest way to find out if your daughter can transition to napping outside is to start taking her on longer walks outside, until she falls asleep. Once she gets in the habit of that, you may be able to start parking the stroller outside (if you have a safe place to do so). (I have some tips for taking baby outside in this post: http://rainorshinemamma.com/baby-its-freezing-lets-go-outside/). And it’s definitely not too late to introduce your daughter to more outdoor play and adventure! As long as you dress her appropriately, the temperature fluctuation won’t be a problem. Since she is still so young, the best thing for you to do is simply establish a daily routine where you go outside together and explore your surroundings. You don’t need any toys and you don’t have to plan activities, just trust that your daughter will find things that pique her curiosity. For an 11-month-old, a small backyard can be a world of adventure! I’ve got plenty of ideas for invitations to play outside on this blog too, so make sure to browse around:o)
Thanks so much for your reply! I will be trying your suggestions and continuing to browse around the blog for ideas 🙂
I must be a Swedish parent, too. What lovely and meaningful child rearing practices. I have long been an advocate for reducing a child’s schedule, getting outdoors and enjoying life. Well written!
I’m glad to hear that, Lisa! Thanks for reading:o)